wood shore desert ( a la Tom Merton)

i have battled much to be here . . .
i have crossed wild rivers
whose currents
unsteadied all but the most hardy of our caravan
i have travelled cross mountains
whose beauty
made it nigh impossible to leave
i have crawled through endless deserts
where water
was only a dream
and mirages
were better than death itself
i have gazed into the heart of the sun
felt its rays strip me bear
my eyes melt into its intensity
i have watched the rain fall
and the evening star appear
i have seen schools of uneducated fish
and parliaments of anarchist owls
i have written the word
and burnt the book
i have sat in silence
and sung the hymns
i never dance
i have sat with the lonely
mourned with the lost
eaten with the starving
i have walked with the weary
spoken with the mute
lost with the found...
to be with you
has cost me
no more
no less
than everything real
the stripping away
of sanity
of soul
of desire
the transformation of all i thought
i could hold onto
the loss of self
only to be found again
more present
than ever before
this journey
never can be described
in all its vividness
in all its wonder
but freends
we
can
try

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