clarrifying re-jigging and endlessly repeating

thanks for the comments dear freends
it warms me ole heart to know that
(a) someone reads this thing
and
(b) they actually care what is happening to me
so in response...

mike, great words of wisdom which i needed to hear with both ears, head and heart
Antony, your monastic inspired friendship and prayers are more valuable than you know
Coralie, love ya and know you want the best for me

re -reading this reflection made me want to
dwell a little more on some of what moving inside me

for once in my life it seems like this is about
truth
and I don't say this lightly

all the resonance i have with the monastic and liturgical traditions
is useless if they are not truthful
(to me? to us all? feeling a bit postmodern right now...)
so my thinking is about truth
where i truly see the spirit
in both a personal and community sense
using my heart and head
all the while realizing that i use my own "frame" (thanks mike)
or paradigm to see things through

and this truth has become beyond what i feel
whether that be connectedness, or neediness, or apathy
but about the fact that i see the spirit most fully in the Catholic place
that I believe in the Eucharist fully,
even if it is hard to comprehend
that this is the church which can trace its way back to Jesus
even if human folly and desire and greed and sin
may be a huge part of that picture

and when i think about what i think n believe
right down deep
then i am short changing myself
to not have an external expression
worship if you will
where all of this fits together
(and boy am I lucky it is in a liturgical tradition, otherwise...)

it doesn't mean i stop thinking
or start judging others
or have an endless quest for conversion
i think i am mature enough to see where others find home
and how it works for them
without being too threatened
it just means being true to myself
a bit more
putting the action back in the belief
even if that might be a little painful
and having lots of trust

thanks folks
love
me

(this seems a bit of a ramble, but there you go...)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mad Men 101

Thanks to a conservative blog for peace I have become quite intrigued by with US series “Mad men”. For most Australians this is quite an unknown program, the second series being premiered this Sunday night on specialized broadcaster SBS, leaving us well behind the US which is currently airing the fourth series. For those who don’t know, Mad Men takes place in the early 1960’s, varying its setting between the main characters Advertising office workspace, their homes and social lives. As the series progresses we discover that the characters are not at all what they seem, both outwardly and inwardly, as we journey with them through the historical events and changing social patterns which have influenced so much of our modern culture. It is this historical element which captured me. The ways husbands, wives and children inter-related. The constant smoking and drinking. The more relaxed pace of life. Infidelity and the subsequent risks and consequences. Psycho-analysis just beginning ...
Read more

december heart

my soul is tired but my hands want to keep being busy my mind restless but full of plans the days of christmas and summer stretch before me like fresh paper a beach in winter a monks cell these days of opportunity a paradox to not do: is to heal is to just be: frustrating leaving the year behind and moving forward a challenge. Sleep. Wine. Silence. Prayer. Zen. Friends. Walks. Love. My solution.
Read more

Spiritual Friends - Henri Nouwen

Image
I thought I might write a short series of posts about Spiritual Friends - those writers and people who have influenced my spiritual growth and contributed to my search for God. Henri Nouwen, the Dutch Catholic  priest,  was the first writer who really captured my imagination about what it meant to be a spiritual being and take the search for God seriously.  I can see my life in both before and after discovering Nouwen stages! My dad suggested I read "Genesee Diary: Report from a Trappist Monastery" with the words. "I think you'll like this. If you do you won't be able to put it down and then you'll want to read all his books!". He was right. I counsumed the book in about two days and then began buying/borrowing/scrounging for more! Loads has been written about Nouwen, and you can get lots of information from the society website. His personal influence in my life really falls into three  - disciplines, community, and freedom.  Disciplines : Henri was big...
Read more