clarrifying re-jigging and endlessly repeating
thanks for the comments dear freends
it warms me ole heart to know that
(a) someone reads this thing
and
(b) they actually care what is happening to me
so in response...
mike, great words of wisdom which i needed to hear with both ears, head and heart
Antony, your monastic inspired friendship and prayers are more valuable than you know
Coralie, love ya and know you want the best for me
re -reading this reflection made me want to
dwell a little more on some of what moving inside me
for once in my life it seems like this is about
truth
and I don't say this lightly
all the resonance i have with the monastic and liturgical traditions
is useless if they are not truthful
(to me? to us all? feeling a bit postmodern right now...)
so my thinking is about truth
where i truly see the spirit
in both a personal and community sense
using my heart and head
all the while realizing that i use my own "frame" (thanks mike)
or paradigm to see things through
and this truth has become beyond what i feel
whether that be connectedness, or neediness, or apathy
but about the fact that i see the spirit most fully in the Catholic place
that I believe in the Eucharist fully,
even if it is hard to comprehend
that this is the church which can trace its way back to Jesus
even if human folly and desire and greed and sin
may be a huge part of that picture
and when i think about what i think n believe
right down deep
then i am short changing myself
to not have an external expression
worship if you will
where all of this fits together
(and boy am I lucky it is in a liturgical tradition, otherwise...)
it doesn't mean i stop thinking
or start judging others
or have an endless quest for conversion
i think i am mature enough to see where others find home
and how it works for them
without being too threatened
it just means being true to myself
a bit more
putting the action back in the belief
even if that might be a little painful
and having lots of trust
thanks folks
love
me
(this seems a bit of a ramble, but there you go...)
it warms me ole heart to know that
(a) someone reads this thing
and
(b) they actually care what is happening to me
so in response...
mike, great words of wisdom which i needed to hear with both ears, head and heart
Antony, your monastic inspired friendship and prayers are more valuable than you know
Coralie, love ya and know you want the best for me
re -reading this reflection made me want to
dwell a little more on some of what moving inside me
for once in my life it seems like this is about
truth
and I don't say this lightly
all the resonance i have with the monastic and liturgical traditions
is useless if they are not truthful
(to me? to us all? feeling a bit postmodern right now...)
so my thinking is about truth
where i truly see the spirit
in both a personal and community sense
using my heart and head
all the while realizing that i use my own "frame" (thanks mike)
or paradigm to see things through
and this truth has become beyond what i feel
whether that be connectedness, or neediness, or apathy
but about the fact that i see the spirit most fully in the Catholic place
that I believe in the Eucharist fully,
even if it is hard to comprehend
that this is the church which can trace its way back to Jesus
even if human folly and desire and greed and sin
may be a huge part of that picture
and when i think about what i think n believe
right down deep
then i am short changing myself
to not have an external expression
worship if you will
where all of this fits together
(and boy am I lucky it is in a liturgical tradition, otherwise...)
it doesn't mean i stop thinking
or start judging others
or have an endless quest for conversion
i think i am mature enough to see where others find home
and how it works for them
without being too threatened
it just means being true to myself
a bit more
putting the action back in the belief
even if that might be a little painful
and having lots of trust
thanks folks
love
me
(this seems a bit of a ramble, but there you go...)
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