I was made for Afternoons

so the death throws of another year and what of it? 40 years on the planet n still too many days with no idea but some stuff has inspired me these 12 months so without further ado . . . kilbey continues to delight inspire inflame n be faithful to a long blog most days a chronicle of ups n downs n gigs not often you get an insight into someones inner land scape n this is a joy along the same lines i discovered arts and letters daily somehow somewhere intellectual artistic literary stimulation good for a mid morning diversion or long afternoon procrastination howies are another thing ethical clothes n lifestyle philosophy good earthy stuff through them too i discovered the do lectures i haven't plumbed the depths of this stuff yet but much food for thought me thinks spiritually a quiet year (its funny how when your job is to speak of the divine that you find you have less and less to say) but a gift from the friend the glenstal book of readings has been a companion through the lit

coralie prince n poet then in no particular order coffee wine cooking italy france jazz funk soul lunch drinks mass "lets get out of here" "listen to this" "let us pray" mysticism silence zen haiku apple children afternoon holidays holy-days the church - musically, physically n sociologically guitars drums hammonds saxophones new clothes crisp sheets bells doc martens shopping winter autumn spring weller dylan townshend lennon mccartney especially harrisson 60's suits sleep dreams jung merton poetry kilbey fires night stars universe time travel books librarys narnia middle earth earth sea aslan gandalf ged father son holy ghost scooters community trust faith hope love now freends you

what is it about this time of year which makes us evaluate it all again? is it the heat which cleanses n burns like fire forcing us to concentrate on what matters inner stuff mind heart n soul as energy can't be spent on too much more than essentials? is it the rituals long lunches n over fed meals presents n trees n photos ops which give way to test match cricket web browsing new books gentle swims all bringing us into slow land n back into ourselves the last few days been good despite this transient vertigo virus that seems to get me after periods of prolonged busyness so i sort of lie there think ponder get bored annoyed angry complacent until it goes away its better today - thank your deity - so theres a small mercy i think about italy n espresso the latin course i am signed up for next year our travel to nz what the future holds for poet and prince guitars n stars n hoop-o-la you get the picture ciao

the day at last dawns prince n poet sleep late in their beds the morning coolness inviting long slumber n gentle dreams ck n i slow the pace coffee is made blogs pursued the paper pages turned all this as we wait for the birth of the king i play the intellectual games of faith sometimes what if how come if we look at it this way you know the barriers we put up - but this celebration breaks through it all if we as st ben says listen with the ear of the heart to the little child the young mother the star the simple shepherds the wise waiting kings even herod - the shadow of ourselves mystery gets me more deeply every year it is a tale which redeems whose ending we sadly know but always hope for a new outcome it brings a hope when all around seems dark n somehow desolate it invites young old those in between to leave behind knowing n controlling instead celebrate trust love so however you celebrate whoever you with whatever your path tradition belief may this christmas the beginning of

allright then? friday night i went with me best and bravest to da church at the quarry n what a show it was nice bit of support from the holy sea not the vatican sort of course quite a cool outfit intense but musical nice local talent then sun down lights on cool breeze beers consumed steve kilbey and the boys hit the stage n proceed to undermine what the hell i thought i was on about four distinguished yet flawed gentleman rocking their way through a set of tunes which paid homage to their past in small ways but was firmly planted in the now alternate tunings long instrumental jams which far from bloated 70's guitar nonsense explored the sonic possibilities of each tune much the same as jazz musicians explore the harmonic and melodic the new tunes melded into t he old not a lot being sad from the stage it was about the music about the exploration it was dark it was mystic in the best sense which delves into the everyday the ordinary sapping every last once of meaning of pers

i see the look in your eyes your wonder your confusion a world of disbelief and awe the tumbling of a heart we walk through this world as ghosts too often you and i - we wander the same paths regardless of the year or the company hoping for meaning but finding it barren or abandoned we are relics of a time long past our crusty views emblazened in our very speech we are champions of long silent corridors and saturday trading until one of books and pipes and evensong of an unspoiled countryside which both nutured and healed silent conversations between friends those days are gone or is it merely me?

these grey mornings leave me tired before the day has begun dragging feet in mid september stupor like too much wine without the pleasantness of mild over indulgence . . . the romans are still calling me to read think digest argue but old father time keeps slipping away with his gift i feel like C S L that reading is the main business of the day . . . everything else is an interruption i need to be clearer concise yet obtuse convinced poetic artistic mythical mystical i loved this quote i found this week: Bob Dylan believes in God, and Richard Dawkins is never going to win an argument against Bob Dylan, cause you need a poet to discuss these things. So let's just say I'm with Bob. (Paddy McAloon , prefab sprout vocalist, songwriter and now semi recluse) all this evangelical lay it on the table, read the bible, get the answer stuff i making me tired so i think i'll stop and go for a long walk

i am 40 the big four o 4 decades in the blink of an eye or an i what else am i? i am a soul a spirit i am me not you i play music i read i love i live i hate i struggle i grow some two steps forward two steps back on a good day i am parochial but i see the universe i doubt but i pray i am always arriving but leaving something i dream but get bogged in reality i succeed and make mistakes i am good i am bad i am often indifferent but what sort of man am i perhaps you know? i act i hope i wonder i try i anticipate i see i am 40 years have taught me this that i am can be enough it is my journey it my depths it is my future.

Picked up a very cool magazine yesterday at the News stand on Oxford Street. Its the sort of magazine which hides itself away between brighter pages and more "news worthy" (read: gossip) editions. Habitus:living in Design is a fairly new Australian Journal about homes, art, landscapes and design in the South East Asian region. Which is great because so often Australian Culture still takes its ques from the Northern Hemisphere (and as you yawn, yes, I know this has been said before) instead of the prevalent cultures which surround it. What's in it for me? To be honest I was very much attracted by the cover of this edition and the man working in the book lined room. Scenes like this inspire me to create my own environment like this and to continue to see the space in which I live, read, pray, play, cook, raise and family and reflect as important. Opening the journal further, I seriously admired the spaces belonging to Rirkrit Tiravanija . So much inspiration now I need so

Perth has been suffering an extended period of rain, wind and genuine winter weather. (I should say enjoying because we live on the end of a desert and really really need the rain) It doesn't seem to have kept people out of the cafe's though! I dropped into another new haunt today Sayers Food - around the corner from my favourite brew Cranked Coffee (a great mixture of coffee and bikes) Sayers has great coffee and a very sophisticated vibe. Good for a special treat.

After a steady day in a very wintry Perth ,I zipped out to grab a coffee at the "West End Deli" - just up the road from my school. Grendal recommends it via his great coffee map of Perth, and I thought I should check it out. Boho arty sort of vibe and an open view kitchen for an excellent view of the preparation of their wonderful menu. The coffee was Fiori , which is a lovely bean. My Latte was a good strength, but a little cooler than I usually prefer. I am reading my way through Sallust's " Catiline's War, The Jugurthine War, Histories" . A great translation I was quite moved by the opening chapter of the text and Sallust's thoughts on human nature, ambition and desire. I need to read this slowly as each sentence seems heavy with meaning and content.

Ancient Rome, like most periods of history, had to deal with warfare, battles, death and the inevitable searching meaning of life which comes from such events. I have never been much of a fan of battle, but I realize that Military history is important as it helps plot the development of nations, as well as the inevitable religious, culinary and knowledge transfer of culture and language. Wikipedia What would you do? Punic Wars Punic Wars 2 Also was very happy to see Jonny Bakers blog about the new Fresh Expressions book focused on what Catholic Anglicans are doing on the Fringes of the church.

I have developed more of an interest in my home, and decorating it, as I have got older. Initially I thought it would be vain and opulent to have nice things at home (this seemed to come from a sort of misguided humility , socialist, back beating protestant mentality) but as I age I see the goodness of having quality, which last and doesn't need replacing in 5 minutes (which is essential with young kids!), and making home a beautiful refugee for my family, and my friends. I especially like the New Victorian Style, sometimes called Steampunk - the link is to a Steampunk interior design page. Topic Two in my Classics Course is "The Roman Household", which seems appropriate as I look at my own home in the light of the Ancient Romans. A few links: Roman Household Powerpoint The Roman House Plan The Roman House in Detail

Grab bag of things today. In the post lunch afternoon lull, my fellow campus ministry team member and I spent some time watching a few of the Nooma videos we hadn't seen before. Very poignant and powerful discussions of loss, grief and the inevitable difficulty of moving on. This led me to look look a little deeper into Rob Bell, who I have always enjoyed as communicator - especially his ability to draw out concepts in a contemporary manner. His primary theological paradigm is that of Narrative theology. You can read about what Mars Hill Church (which Rob Bell pastors) says about Narrative Theology and how it fits with their conception of church . They also offer a quite neat reading list (which will no doubt lead me to purchase even more books to add to the over crowded shelves in my bottom room . . .) In the afternoon I was racing to the local Bunnings to grab a lightglobe and heard a very cool radio story about Shakespeare and Company - a very cool bookshop in Paris whic

I had a late meeting tonight at Trinity College (a gathering of Campus Ministers and like minded folk from around Perth) and was heading home through the early dark winter night listening to Classic fm when on came an interview with British, now naturalised Australian, probably-the-best-pianist-in-the-world Stephen Hough . Whilst I am not a huge fan of Classical Piano (I do however really like impressionist and medieval/renaissance music) Stephen Hough is a little different to the run of the mill artist. Apart from possessing a formidable technique (some might say staggering or startling!) he is also a blogger, a poet, and has published a theological text on Lectio Divina . This mix of music, poetry and theology is close to my own heart, and discovering someone who wrestles with this very same combination is heartening and enlightening. I very humbly offer you a few links about this very Renaissance man: The official Stephen Hough Website Stephen's Blog at the Daily Telegraph

Essay writing. My first time around at University it was merely a task to complete to a pass level and as quickly as possible. By the time I was doing theology much of the work was not essay based - it was reading logs or personal experience based work. Great for theological reflection, but not so much as academic discipline. (With the exception of a 5000 Christology piece which just about killed me . . .) In some ways I am looking forward to the two pieces of work for this unit - an essay of 1200 words and another of 1500. Long enough to explore a topic at some preliminary detail but not so much as to be burdensome or require a herculoric effort , which I just couldn't manage at the moment! So here are two links, one from my home campus UNE and another from Monash University in Melbourne. I was pleasantly surprised to find that most Universities offered help for students in this area, but not so impressed by a few online sites which will produced papers for a fee - wheres t

Nothing is as important to study as reading widely. And not just books. Journals, webpages, interviews, podcasts, films, powerpoints - all broaden and deepen the area which we are trying to understand. My unit this semester is Roman History. Here's some helpful links I have found so far: The Roman Empire Perseus Digital Library - Ancient Texts in Latin and English BBC History - Romans Rome Project Classics Studies Web A good start when added to my pile of Uni suggested Texts.!

The funny thing about rapidly approaching 40 is that things appear to be becoming more urgent, more important, less important etc. Anyway, I find my self enrolled to study classics here . Not only do they have an excellent traditional classics program (Ancient Greek and Roman History along with Latin and Greek language and textual studies) but they can deliver the whole course in external mode with excellent on-line support. Which of course, suits someone on the other side of the country who has a busy job and a young family.  This has been something that has been in the back of my mind since I was about 16. Many of the people I respect and value for their intellectual and spiritual contribution to life in general - C S Lewis, J R R Tolkein , Thomas Merton, the Oxford Movement Fathers  - had this training in their background. Not only did it create a context for their faith , it also taught them how to think, reason, and debate. Part of the discipline, in fact most of it, is reading an

THURSDAY BEFORE EASTER O Holy mountain of my God, How do thy towers in ruin lie, How art thou riven and strewn abroad, Under the rude and wasteful sky!" 'Twas thus upon his fasting-day The "Man of Loves" was fain to pray, His lattice open toward his darling west, Mourning the ruined home he still must love the best. Oh! for a love like Daniel's now, To wing to Heaven but one strong prayer For GOD'S new Israel, sunk as low, Yet flourishing to sight as fair, As Sion in her height of pride, With queens for handmaids at her side, With kings her nursing-fathers, throned high, And compassed with the world's too tempting blazonry. Tis true, nor winter stays thy growth, Nor torrid summer's sickly smile; The flashing billows of the south Break not upon so lone an isle, But thou, rich vine, art grafted there, The fruit of death or life to bear, Yielding a surer witness every day, To thine Almighty Author and His steadfast sway. Oh! grief to think, that grapes

good lord lent again where'd that come from? marked the day in the usual way bit of song silence word n ash n then inevitably  thoughts turn to the embedded reality of my childhood what should i give up for Lent? first thought was to give up giving things up for Lent but that would be a tad too predictable and easy n then nothing . . . .  i could be wrong here (I often am) but the point seems to be get rid of the dross -  sure chocolate might be an easy choice but what am i really saying by giving it up? Chocolate is bad I eat too much i am a fat middle class consumer who doesn't know when to say no is this what lent is about really? did the the tradition of lent endure to slim my waist line? i think giving up is bad word choice here casting off is better i want to cast off my pride  and stop not allowing others to be close to me, unless its on my terms my intelligence having,  wanting and needing to have all the answers, all the time my masks less time spent worrying about

an early morning walk thinking about being 40 in 5 months realizing i know nothing its all just beginning its all just opening up i've heard this before but never quite believed it its less fact more mystery less tangible  more real its not a concern but a breakthrough like all change it comes  like a breeze or an afternoon suddenly free full of hope n wonder n possibility

Perth has had funny temperatures this year.  Day after day of temperatures in the mid 30c's ( thats between 86f and 100f for my friends in other locals).  Not super hot (as in low 40c's) but at night we only dip to around 18c.  The constancy of the heat is wearing.  Taxing.  You function. You perform.  But you don't really rest well.  Air conditioning is helpful, but drying too. In these times I think of the north.  The heat leaves me feeling like a stranger in my own land. I long for something I can't quite put my finger on. It is the shadow in the corner, the shudder if the curtains, the train just missed, it is the north. Canada, Scandinavia,  Not only for a blessed relief from the heat,  but from all it entails in its history, its poetry, its art, its spaciousness, its mystery, its solitude. Like many, C.S. Lewis' words echo deep within me: “ Pure “Northernness” engulfed me: a vision of huge, clear spaces hanging above the Atlantic in the endless twilight of Nor

1. Listening to: Last Fm . Type in "Funk" and you'll hear what I am cooking to . . .  2. Reading: As its the weekend I'm into "The Weekend Australian's" political, culinary, artistic and travel pages. On the book front, I just finished "A generous orthodoxy" by Brian McLaren. On the one hand I want to jump up and down and rejoice that someone wrote this book, on the other I sort of yawn and think "most of my friends think this way already" - but maybe that's just us . . . .  3. Clothes: Loving my retro Adidas trainers and dark blue knit polo shirt. Off to Buy some Doc Martens yet again tomorrow .  Loved the Ben Sherman shirts I got for Christmas. 4. Today: I went to Perth Zoo with the wife, the kids, the mates n the family. Good time. 5. Plan for this week: Monday is Australia day, a  National holiday so we'll watch the fireworks with the rest of Perth, then a quiet Tuesday before I go back to work on Wednesday. Tag

Imagination does not breed insanity. Exactly what does breed insanity is reason. Poets do not go mad ; but chess players do . . .  Perhaps the strongest case of all is this: that only one great English poet went mad,  Cowper. And he was definitely driven mad by logic, by the ugly and alien logic of predestination. Poetry was not the disease, but the medicine . . .  He was damned by John Calvin . . .  Poetry is sane because it floats easily in an infinite sea; reason seeks to cross the infinite sea, and so make it finite. The result is mental exhaustion... The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits... The madman is not the man who has lost his reason. The madman is the man who has lost everything except his reason... Materialists and madmen never have doubts . . .  Mysticism keeps men sane. As long as you have the mystery you have health; when you destroy mystery you create morbidity.

Just picked up a copy of Brian McLaren's "A generous Orthodoxy" which I have heard loads about but never read.  Have you?  Any comments, advice or warnings?

overwhelmed n undernourished spaced out n cashed up moving on but hanging out living now n crying later all this techno phobe reinvention redesign rejig reface re re contemplative naval gazing leaves me cold cos its not me - whoever that is? its only little bits which i shine up  n make presentable for the general audience all these books n records n words might give ya a way in but no matter what freends I remain a mystery to me to you to the universe . . .  have ya noticed most of dem priests n dem musos would be love da mystic the da cosmic dimension finding the out there in here? looking for the big picture and finding it in  the blade of grass seeking silence n solitude  and then finding themselves in the centre of the world fasting praying loving renouncing then having it all given back to them learn to see learn to hear learn to love thats the journey thats the mystery

Whilst Nouwen, De Mello and Abhishiktananda are the three important spiritual writers and mentors in my life, without the support of my community, it is highly unlikely that my life would be so full and rich.  That my family would be surrounded by such love,  That I would have an opportunity to face the truths about myself, both good and bad.  That I would have so many opportunities to laugh, to cry and to celebrate. That I would get to know such a lot about various bottle of red wine . . .  Whilst the three gentleman I have written about  have informed and stimulated my search for God, it is these folks who have shown me Gods action through their love, their words, and their actions. Love you guys!

Dom Henri Le Saux, later to take the hindu name Abhishiktananda, is my next spiritual friend.  A little known hermit, his influence is felt through much of the work of Bede Griffiths and other teachers of contemplation. Abhishiktananda was a Benedictine monk from the A bbey of Sainte Anne de Kergonan  in Brittany, France.  In his late 30's he travelled to India to form a Benedictine community with J ules Monchanin . Their aim was to have a monastic community in the style of an Indian ashram. This would have been a progressive idea now ( Bede Griffiths did do it with some success) but in 1950 it was a miracle it was even thought of ! The idea failed somewhat (Until Bede took over the community) with Abhishiktanda spending much time traveling around India and immersing himself in Indian spirituality,  spending extended periods in silence and solitude. Abhishiktananda opened his heart to the world and spent time dialoguing with people (esp. Anglican missionary Murray Rogers ) of all

If Nouwen started the spiritual journey for me (and I repeated come back to his works more than any other writer) then Indian Jesuit Anthony De Mello took me deeper into myself. Initially his book Sadhana  ( a book of contemplative exercises) appealed to me and begun my journey into silence and the mystery more deeply, but it was a book written by one of his friends, Carlos Valles " Mastering Sadhana"   which led me deeper into what De Mello was teaching. My instinct is that in Jesus, De Mello saw a totally free human being, able to completely experience life without hanging on to hurt or relationships, and so therefore able to relate to others in completely honest, open, compassionate and often unexpected ways. Once he saw the divinity which was shown through Jesus' humanity, De Mello was open to insights about humanness from across the religious spectrum. It was experience of his own search for inner freedom which led him to be therapist, counsellor, spiritual director

I thought I might write a short series of posts about Spiritual Friends - those writers and people who have influenced my spiritual growth and contributed to my search for God. Henri Nouwen, the Dutch Catholic  priest,  was the first writer who really captured my imagination about what it meant to be a spiritual being and take the search for God seriously.  I can see my life in both before and after discovering Nouwen stages! My dad suggested I read "Genesee Diary: Report from a Trappist Monastery" with the words. "I think you'll like this. If you do you won't be able to put it down and then you'll want to read all his books!". He was right. I counsumed the book in about two days and then began buying/borrowing/scrounging for more! Loads has been written about Nouwen, and you can get lots of information from the society website. His personal influence in my life really falls into three  - disciplines, community, and freedom.  Disciplines : Henri was big

Actually its a cab sav from Stonyfell wines. Nice little drop and nice to be able to have a drop of vino at lunch.... I have been reading about listening to Tom Merton this morning.  Lots has been said about him over the years of course, and by much brighter folk than me.  The attraction for me has always been a bit broader than just his monastic persona, wonderful and full of depth as it is.  I love the beat/poet/count-cultureness of Merton.  His dialogues with Joan Baez for instance.  Listening to Dylan and singing along. Coltrane too. Reading Lenny Bruce. Merton writing about the peace movement. Loved this Psalm by Merton. It encourages me to take both the contemplative and artistic paths seriously.   Night Psalm Be still Listen to the stones of the wall Be silent, they try To speak your Name. Listen To the living walls. Who are you? Who Are you? Whose Silence are you? Who (be quiet) Are you (as these stones Are quiet). Do not Think of what you are Still less of What you may one da

You might have noticed that I put a few lifestyle and creativity sites on the columns to your right. I pursued these to try and help me formulate some ideas for what I would like to try and achieve this year. Last year I wrote about wanting to live more intentionally ( http://preview.tinyurl.com/855l63 ) but I feel like I only went a small way towards this goal of having my inside life and outside life have a sense of congruency.  I really liked the idea I found on Zen Habits  about how to stick with any New Years changes we try to make. Check it out! So for me the idea is to establish a morning routine which includes getting up by 6, spending some time in Lectio and Silence, and doing some exercise.  Stay with me and I will report back on how its going!

Added Flickr photo link Added Anglo Catholic Blog list Added Lifestyle and Creativity Links Redesigned blog into three columns Added new coffee cup image Added Search function Like it?

Made any resolutions?  Wanna make a change or two? Try out new ways of being? I have been mouching around looking at a few sites on lifestyle and creativity. I'll post a few things soon, but I think the key here is taking time to make my changes both workable and long lasting.

After spending the day wondering who I was going to add things to the two side columns I thought 'Just add something" and then - there they are! Spent ALOT of time fiddling around with html today, but happy I am getting somewhere What would you like to see here friends?

Having some trouble with the HTML code for this blog and trying to get the third column working. Any advice welcome!

I'll be fiddling with the blog layout over the next month so stay tuned!