I was made for Afternoons

Off to Church we go and then the day really begins children to be taught endless forms for checking distributed this morning gotta control all we see gotta get it all on paper i have written about all this before see how the themes come around again ------------------------------------ i didn't plan on lent being this way but it seems like this year away from the themes of balance n prayer n stuff into displacement and angst unsettled thoughts about the world and the future about the church and what the hell I think I'm on about about upsetting the apple cart of my all too comfortable middle class existence listening to ancient words applying them to new contexts think outside the shape which we are conditioned into perhaps this is real lent to live on the fringes of yourself listening to your long lost dreams holding on to promises and imaginings and becoming new in the process

feeling ansty this morning wanna make a difference wanna shake things up sick of sitting n doing nuthin it s zen free zone today too much confusion reading the paper all the excuses n merry-go-rounds people being hurt for a new tv... for ya meat to come in a little pre-packed plastic box some poor bugger in Africa suffers i dunno how it works but ya can see it clearly now can ya? so i'm gunna commit to me music get the message out about changing meself changing the world saving the little bit of heaven we got now try and get all of this a little more together at least that's today's plan... listen to the weller this am mid career Jam records all about class n being ya own man now the battle is for our planet and the same approach is needed so prayers pray singers sing writers write painters paint and all of us march let our voices be heard

not well today in the heat the microbes invade me and the princess we lie here clutching our stomachs she involved and waylaid by early morning children television me diggin deeper into books i always read when i'm ill narnia the dark is rising earthsea today it is silver on the tree and the last battle for the light over darkness why is it only when an adult is forced to stop through sickness or breakdown or perhaps the universe conspiring to force them to why is only then that perhaps just perhaps the mystic gets a look in maybe it when you have a fever maybe its having nothing to do maybe it remembering lost childhoods i dunno but when i'm sick i sometimes feel like i think clearer i'm closer to the centre of things like all the run around is useless n unnecessary i saw clearly today how unhealthy the city was how much i love it but how i can't see what i want to see here and then tomorrow in the hubbub i will forget this and go back to the run around so freends enjo

cool mornings n hot afternoons do nothun at all to instill in me a sense of stability can't get moving in the morning becuase the heat of the day and then in the afternoons theres only cookin n readin n writing n hiding from the late heat so i'm feelin out a whack cant get me exercise in n all that makes ya eat wrong sleep wrong think wrong oh heat go away come back anuder time OK?

you should be careful what you read my mother always said that she was and is a great reader of loads of stuff mainly romancey novels these days but it was biography n history n religion n poetry n ole will shake your sphere i should a taken her advice today morning bloog reading led me to SK and to todays letter from him and the horror of what we are doing to the planet the knife edge we find ourselves on again we humen beens always do this we cant seem to live and let be always riding to the point of near no return the nuclear race the wars of 1914 and 1939 and ever onwards and now its our home we are destroying for bits of coloured paper n shiny trinkets the picture we get is dark so dark and we know what we should do but i get in me car in the mornings n putter me way around put on the air con when its too hot almost seems too big a deal for my little life to make much difference and i am led to despair for the young prince n poet for me, cos I like being alive n being in love

hello freends the first full week of school began today before this we had a little taster day friday I mean, whats with that come to school for one day and then have two days off? anyhoo the year has started well the kiddlets seem to be OK i do my usual little teacher routine the joke n hands on stuff n then be a bear for a moment then all smiles try n set things up for the rest of the eleven months. so... the battle is to try and preserve my insides and be a teacher i am gunna experiment with rituals for leaving n arriving meditation n writing in the morning then a gentle bike ride to school and then in the afternoon change my clothes become dad n husband n put off the teacher man drink a coffee sit on the couch and then play me guit hopeful that'll realign me n i'll have the more energy for the prince n poet for a swim n writing so there we are a year begins what will it hold I wonder for you and for me?