Before dawn

Breathing.

Silence before the dawn.
Waiting.
Trying not to watch, but only to breathe.
A wakeful weary slumber
which hits like a tidal wave
turning me inside out.

Breathe.

Open your eyes.
Yawn.
Settle again and sit.
Just sit.
Still.

Why do I wait here?
What good does it do me
or anyone?
I am not better this way.
My love doesnot flow more freely.
And yet....
It is more stifled if I am not here
If I don't anticipate the dawn.

I feel the battle for the cosmos within me
Tearing at every part of me
Pulled in this direction
and then that.
Until my shape is lost and I am left
alone.

So I sit.
and breathe.
And wait.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mad Men 101

Thanks to a conservative blog for peace I have become quite intrigued by with US series “Mad men”. For most Australians this is quite an unknown program, the second series being premiered this Sunday night on specialized broadcaster SBS, leaving us well behind the US which is currently airing the fourth series. For those who don’t know, Mad Men takes place in the early 1960’s, varying its setting between the main characters Advertising office workspace, their homes and social lives. As the series progresses we discover that the characters are not at all what they seem, both outwardly and inwardly, as we journey with them through the historical events and changing social patterns which have influenced so much of our modern culture. It is this historical element which captured me. The ways husbands, wives and children inter-related. The constant smoking and drinking. The more relaxed pace of life. Infidelity and the subsequent risks and consequences. Psycho-analysis just beginning ...
Read more

december heart

my soul is tired but my hands want to keep being busy my mind restless but full of plans the days of christmas and summer stretch before me like fresh paper a beach in winter a monks cell these days of opportunity a paradox to not do: is to heal is to just be: frustrating leaving the year behind and moving forward a challenge. Sleep. Wine. Silence. Prayer. Zen. Friends. Walks. Love. My solution.
Read more

Spiritual Friends - Henri Nouwen

Image
I thought I might write a short series of posts about Spiritual Friends - those writers and people who have influenced my spiritual growth and contributed to my search for God. Henri Nouwen, the Dutch Catholic  priest,  was the first writer who really captured my imagination about what it meant to be a spiritual being and take the search for God seriously.  I can see my life in both before and after discovering Nouwen stages! My dad suggested I read "Genesee Diary: Report from a Trappist Monastery" with the words. "I think you'll like this. If you do you won't be able to put it down and then you'll want to read all his books!". He was right. I counsumed the book in about two days and then began buying/borrowing/scrounging for more! Loads has been written about Nouwen, and you can get lots of information from the society website. His personal influence in my life really falls into three  - disciplines, community, and freedom.  Disciplines : Henri was big...
Read more