Before dawn

Breathing.

Silence before the dawn.
Waiting.
Trying not to watch, but only to breathe.
A wakeful weary slumber
which hits like a tidal wave
turning me inside out.

Breathe.

Open your eyes.
Yawn.
Settle again and sit.
Just sit.
Still.

Why do I wait here?
What good does it do me
or anyone?
I am not better this way.
My love doesnot flow more freely.
And yet....
It is more stifled if I am not here
If I don't anticipate the dawn.

I feel the battle for the cosmos within me
Tearing at every part of me
Pulled in this direction
and then that.
Until my shape is lost and I am left
alone.

So I sit.
and breathe.
And wait.

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