Spiritual Friends - Anthony De Mello

If Nouwen started the spiritual journey for me (and I repeated come back to his works more than any other writer) then Indian Jesuit Anthony De Mello took me deeper into myself. Initially his book Sadhana ( a book of contemplative exercises) appealed to me and begun my journey into silence and the mystery more deeply, but it was a book written by one of his friends, Carlos Valles "Mastering Sadhana" which led me deeper into what De Mello was teaching.

My instinct is that in Jesus, De Mello saw a totally free human being, able to completely experience life without hanging on to hurt or relationships, and so therefore able to relate to others in completely honest, open, compassionate and often unexpected ways. Once he saw the divinity which was shown through Jesus' humanity, De Mello was open to insights about humanness from across the religious spectrum.

It was experience of his own search for inner freedom which led him to be therapist, counsellor, spiritual director and guru. I was really happy to read recently that he spent some time talking with Abhishiktananda, learning from his deep experiences of solitude and silence. 

The importance of De Mello for me is two fold. In my work I love the fact he utilized a lot of different techniques in his clinical work - Gestalt, Carl Rogers, Dream work, early mindfulness training - as ways of helping the healing process. He was also a wonderful teacher of prayer and familiar with many different styles and processes.

Like Nouwen, his passionate search for God is very attractive for me. But De Mello helps me ask some hard questions too. Who is this "God" I am looking for? What is this Heaven? What is happiness - do I need to be happy to be happy? This ability to be self-reflective, trust  in our own experience and abilities, is something I can grow into.

I love this quote from de Mello:

If I had been asked in the first years of my                                   

spiritual endeavor what I wanted people to say in appreciation of me,

I would have answered,

Let them say, He is a holy man.;

Years later I would have answered;

Let them say He is a loving man;

And now I would like people to say of me, He is a free man