I was made for Afternoons

the poet and i are with the monks up the road it rained steadily all the way here belting in fact like an answer to prayer flood waters a mother berating a child this rain what are you doing? asks the poet writing on my blog i say i was made for afternoons she muses and returns to her barbie google searching she is doing well here at the abbey sat quietly during prayers n lunch' baited and laughed with one of the monks who baited teased and laughed with her it is good to stop here amidst the rain n bells n prayer as the term begins once again a term which will bring great changes n challenges to me but bring it on i say... during the week i picked up some finished mixes of me and a mates musical voyages n low and behold it rocks it rolls its manna from heaven for heavy human souls you will love it freends you really truly absolutely will i'll post a bit soon for ya all now a sleep and a sing lovely.

laps again this morning but a sore body meant yesterdays 12 was reducced to the more customary 10 still waiting for news as to when the new engagement will begin the two parties quoting paper to each other n promoting the merits of their point of view but yours truly doesnot feel caught it is but another choice another thing which is out of my control as the new life approaches itunes would seem to hold all the answers to my fears hopes issues difficulties and general existential wanderings first question will i b happy in the new job? begin, by ben lee seems to be a good thing, beginning letting things just happen after starting this process is good -i like it! second question what will be my greatest challenge in the next 12 months? don't stop now, crowded house great answer i can't see what is right in front of us sings neil well neither can i mate question three will i find some friends at the new work place? looking for co co by my missus i sure am gonna miss her in t...

the job is mine i am da man a scared man a new man a sacred man with any luck the new ministery blokey whatsit to a universal community controlling the ebb n flow of divine observance walking with others in sun n rain sending da young ones to learn and grow supporting da weak lovin all who cross my door (i am not even sure if i have an office...) sounds like a good deal does it not? but freends between us i am sure i can't do this not without love not without living in community not without living in da mystery not without help so remember me freends as i embark on this mysterious voyage into being sort of useless but essential sort of part of everything but called to be outside part of the community but not a teacher or student or administrator... living on the edge of all a freend called it sounds like a good place to be actually! love ya freends

an early start to drop friends for a holiday then to the pool the whole crew young prince has lessons i swim ten laps back n forth while the poet plays n splashes nearby part of my wholeness getting back into my body while the whole world seems to want you out of it by eating n partying then glorifying the petite n slim the painfully slender the vanishing are held up as models mixed messages recieved children stunted money spent to maintain the illusion memberships won n lost time lost balance hard to achieve but it felt good to be in the water try n b elegnat try n b fast just try legs n arms pleasntly ache now as I write to ya freends a sure sign of doin some good the day beckons now house to organize shopping to endure love to speak music to make

day comes round without any help good sleep long walk marking the minutes until da time suit tie watch nervous wee shaky drive down road then sit n breathe n breathe watch the birds in the trees channel the mystery the divine love inside relax it is all a game new job old job this chance n that change the circumstances but not the man so i opened the door n met the panel da boss da priest da deputy dan question n answers careful looks n silence then its over 40 minutes of life invested then questions self evaluation flagellation recrimination sensation but how can you get to no a soul from 8 sheets of paper n a forty minute chat? can you see who they could be? what they could bring? who they are really underneath it all? so now I wait slightly less than patiently for a call n pretend to be nonchalant to see this way or that

wedding day yesterday a friends sisters extravaganza of an event me n ck drivin autos n singing n preparing madly poet n prince both enchanted by the night the throng of a crowd the ice statue which the little prince decided he wanted to lick too much humanity for this wanderer the rite n ritual in the afternoon my favourite family n friends n feends all gathered with one heart of love to bless the new couple n invoke the presence of the mystery church simple n lite then photo ops at the beach in the rich late afternoon light of winter ice cream for ck and da uther driver we sat and talked bicycles n france n work n houses n kids all good highlight of day for me actually then to da party which always leaves ck a little cold inside food n wine (of which i partook with a willingness) dancin n speeches eventually bed sleeplessness for all at the hotel the temperature too warm you see a late breakfast back to the prince n poet and then sleep for a few hours before renewing our fr...

dear blog dear thoughts i haven't abandoned you entirely i have been away away in every sense the pressures of the world the life we live which i give into bearing down and crushing our fragile spirits had become too much until now last week i turned another year older thirty eight cycles on exploration a good time to stop and think but i needed more a kick up the proverbial as usual it came in threes maybe a new job in which i would spend my time thinking about the mystery and trying to tell others a new church record from 06 kilbeys lyrics get me every time "thankyou to the lord for creating all this there's a whole lot of pain before we get to the bliss" yeah.... and then my chosen expression of mystery seems to be going backwards or at least standing still my limited efforts to balance seem to come to nothing i sit on the line on many things i see good and bad here there and everywhere a true post modern me thinketh it so easy to forget how to live in the mystery ...