and then i broke it

fear
loneliness
agitation
more fear
my heart beating like a bat out of hell
(sorry Mr Loaf)
connected to a machine for a short time
counting the beats (or lack of)
from my heart
eager dr watching the screen
until it broke
thats right
i broke the machine
or my heart did
no means to record
the beat
the hip hop trance of my life source
broken heart
breaking heart
achy breaky ...
sorry folks.
but as it appears
i am ok
heart doing a few back flips
a few beats disappearing in the ether
but all normal besides
so in the modern way
knowing that i am ok
we send the mystic man
for a battery of tests
to cover the medical profession
to pursue what we know is not there
for fear of retribution.
How much of what we do
is governed by fear of what others will do?
cash
opinion
social status
all can be undone by anothers
hate
or so called "rights"
their greed to control
have you not seen this freends
the scramble for the top
the lust for more
desire for that which we have not
original sin returns
we seek to control
to have
to own
to manipulate and scheme
things haven't changed that much from Eve really
my poor overworked GP
listening
n loving me
trying to work it all out
seeking to do her best
is part of this cycle
i wonder if I hadn't broken her machine
if all had been well
whether I would have all these
tests to pass
or if we would have parted as friends
with a smile
and a nod
or an understanding?
and then the world
would have been
a better place
i
think.

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