gotta make a break

holidays
holy-days
ho-lee daze (the little known contemplative chemist from mainland china)
whatever
they are here
here they are
and here i am
in them
plans always feature
when you have a break
maybe the need to do
even when you get time off
is an in-built human drive
perhaps it is just a protestant work ethic disaster
i should've left behind when i was younger
so today i sit
look at my to-do list and sigh
it all seems too hard actually
a whole lot of guff to make others happy
i want to sit in the sun
i want to drink wine
i want to get my energy back
i want to play guitar
i want to read my books
i want to write on my blog
i want to sit for hours and think about what i want
i want to pray
i want to visit gallerys n museums
i want to play with my kids
i want to watch rain fall
i want to listen to cd's
i just want to be
i want to live and let live
i want to love
n the funny thing is
i was taught that what "i want" is selfish
dunno where i got this from...
but its not
i have decided
i don't want so that others don't have what they want
i don't want to make me bigger
i don't want so i have "power" - whatever that means
i don't want for my own gain
i don't want to hurt (me or anyone...)
maybe i'm wrong
(sigh)
whatever.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mad Men 101

Thanks to a conservative blog for peace I have become quite intrigued by with US series “Mad men”. For most Australians this is quite an unknown program, the second series being premiered this Sunday night on specialized broadcaster SBS, leaving us well behind the US which is currently airing the fourth series. For those who don’t know, Mad Men takes place in the early 1960’s, varying its setting between the main characters Advertising office workspace, their homes and social lives. As the series progresses we discover that the characters are not at all what they seem, both outwardly and inwardly, as we journey with them through the historical events and changing social patterns which have influenced so much of our modern culture. It is this historical element which captured me. The ways husbands, wives and children inter-related. The constant smoking and drinking. The more relaxed pace of life. Infidelity and the subsequent risks and consequences. Psycho-analysis just beginning ...
Read more

december heart

my soul is tired but my hands want to keep being busy my mind restless but full of plans the days of christmas and summer stretch before me like fresh paper a beach in winter a monks cell these days of opportunity a paradox to not do: is to heal is to just be: frustrating leaving the year behind and moving forward a challenge. Sleep. Wine. Silence. Prayer. Zen. Friends. Walks. Love. My solution.
Read more

Time time time, look what’s become of me ...

The kids were back to school this week, and it is a fairly well established fact the first week of term is designed to make teachers forget that they had a holiday at all. Last week was no exception – work was busy with the usual things, there were music and sport events for the prince and poet, social interactions to attend, study to complete and the weekly round of shopping, cleaning and cooking. Nothing out of the ordinary for a middle class family. Why then, are we always so tired? For most people I know, the working week goes by in a flurry, leaving Friday night and weekends for a round of vapid social events, home maintenance and some time with the kids. Which leaves only Sunday to prepare for the next draining five days. Is this any way to live a life? What ever happened to Music, Dance or Art? Restaurants are busier than ever but they push patrons through with a startling rapidity leaving no time to enjoy a lingering meal over a decent conversation (and it goes without sayi...
Read more