when you get what you want ..

nak arrives at work early
a day in which
nothing is planned
nothing prepared
nothing required
only to be there
"your presence is required"
like a call to jury duty
nak finds this hard
inspite of his contemplative nature
the world n work n others
have made him more a do-er
a mover
but not shaker
and to be, not do
as he is now called
is alien n frightening
he travels over to the temple
and celebrates the mystery
with a guru
whose english requires him to repeat
everything he says
which makes the celebration
interesting to say the least
spends some time getting to know his new surroundings
moving quietly between buildings
stealthily listening to classes
watching the place in action
humming like a machine
bells ring
humanity floods
coffee is consumed
brief conversations ensue
much time is spent
sitting
watching
waiting
thinking
reading
guilt floods in periodically
n moments of self doubt
require attention
there is much to be
undone
unlearnt
reestablished
healed
nak must give himself time
he must be prepared to see these weeks out
so as to be
fully present
when he is asked
when the moment of clarity arrives
he will
be ready
but for now
silence
heart beats
n
listening