waiting

my father is gravely ill
and i sit here
and try to write
while a machine breathes for him
and small sounds
show
any watcher
that life is still
hanging on
my mother
silent like mary
no doubt
sits beside
and does all she can do
watch
and breathe
wait
silently nursing he who has
moved from man to child
a full life circle
my phones are all silent
the hum of the computer my companion
as i too wait
across the city
recording my thoughts
emptiness verging
no mystery compares with this
heart torn
what a space this old man will leave
how will it be filled
is today his day?
these questions useless
my grief kept only at bay by some hope
that all is
somehow
as it should be
and if i am alive enough
patient and silent
i will see
some of the pattern
but for now
i too
with most of humanity
with my mother
my family
my companions

wait.