still here in the morning

grey and deary morning
spots of rain on the windows
movies
milk
mushrooms
the day begins and we wonder
what will it hold
i saw my father yesterday
a shape
kept alive by
machines n bags n pipes
lovely young doctor
spoke
oh so briefly to us
there’s nothing
in all the tests
must be a
hidden infection
or evil virus
that snuck in when no one was
looking
he’ll stay here a while
she said
as if he had any choice
unconscious
unaware
unable to do anything but
be there
so we watched him
in pairs
while around us the buzz and
grind of the icu
continued
without abate
hushed and serious
machines ringing
family pacing
holy men of all sizes and shapes
coming and going
offering blessings and love
from their deity
i stand with my mother
watching
silent
my fathers shape
all of him that seems to be fully there
real
my theology seems useless now
what do I know anyway?
but this man is clinging to life
and that miracle
is one
i wasn’t
expecting
so i continue
still
here
waiting

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

rite ritual catholicism and doing lenten penance

so here's where the truth comes out many of you know that I was received into the catholic church nearly 5 years ago now at New Norcia Easter 2002 it was majestic and beautiful the right thing for me in all ways and then... finding a catholic home has been harder than i could have ever thought i love the monks the liturgy the silence the sacramental life the beauty of the worship a noble simplicity but local parishes give me the whoops good liturgy in Perth is hard to find... so i drifted back to my wife's parish whilst i couldn't stand the "worship" the new minister is a good guy accepted me for what i am and needed my help for ideas about the church year and structuring services and taize and all that is good and great and i felt needed and useful but... in that lies the rub. not finding what I need but just putting up with where they need me not being true to my confirmation beliefs especially eucharistically but settling for something else than what i believe
Read more

december heart

my soul is tired but my hands want to keep being busy my mind restless but full of plans the days of christmas and summer stretch before me like fresh paper a beach in winter a monks cell these days of opportunity a paradox to not do: is to heal is to just be: frustrating leaving the year behind and moving forward a challenge. Sleep. Wine. Silence. Prayer. Zen. Friends. Walks. Love. My solution.
Read more

Mad Men 101

Thanks to a conservative blog for peace I have become quite intrigued by with US series “Mad men”. For most Australians this is quite an unknown program, the second series being premiered this Sunday night on specialized broadcaster SBS, leaving us well behind the US which is currently airing the fourth series. For those who don’t know, Mad Men takes place in the early 1960’s, varying its setting between the main characters Advertising office workspace, their homes and social lives. As the series progresses we discover that the characters are not at all what they seem, both outwardly and inwardly, as we journey with them through the historical events and changing social patterns which have influenced so much of our modern culture. It is this historical element which captured me. The ways husbands, wives and children inter-related. The constant smoking and drinking. The more relaxed pace of life. Infidelity and the subsequent risks and consequences. Psycho-analysis just beginning
Read more