goodbye alison

how strange to end
up here
after all this time.
still
these beige walls
offer some respite
an interlude
from the crashing ocean
within.
even as a bystander
i wear my dark ensemble
de rigeur for these moments
sunglasses appear
despite the gloom of a winters morn.
i wear mine n
ck merely looks impassive
her long coat drawn as we wait
quiet small talk ensues
greetings exchanged by gesture
family members long not seen
renew contacts in silence
then gathered together
we process.
how old fashioned it seems.
marching silently together like a motley army
but we arrive and take our places
there is no pushing or vying for position
we merely sit and listen
gaze upon the wood
n flowers
n wonder what could have been.
we listen
realise how little we knew
how little we perhaps truly understood
marveled that our experience
was a shared one
that i was
and am
not alone in this
that love was shared
and found
in another
and then
it is finished
this moment in time of
remembrance
consideration
celebration
frustration
information
hopelessness
hopefulness
wonder...

we greet him in the hall
a tall man
a strong man
not given to grief one thinks
the line of mourners
remains passive
many hugs n kisses
hands held and shoulders slapped
ck hugs as only she can with
passion and a love
which warms you
i offer a hand
and i hope
a loving look
we gather with the others and stand
not wanting to leave
not wanting to re-enter our own worlds
leave this moment
but eventually we must
ck goes with the others
to continue the moment elsewhere
i have my own battles to fight
n ghosts to confront
and walk with
a bearded holy man of my acquaintance
to my vehicle
and
head
back.

good bye alison