moving on, in and out

days are lengthening
n my time grows shorter
the change from here
to there
is taking its toll
neither one thing
or the other
not yet finished or begun
this strange nether world
of boxes n files
forms to be completed
books returned
final partings n
first impressions
no feeling of belonging
at either place
perhaps this is
a place of strength
to be myself
stand on my own
be my own man
the solitary
the survivor
alpha male
but still the shackles hold me...

the conversations have changed too
now others know I am going
into a pastoral role
a new man
a caring being
i am been asked
deeper things
by my colleagues
truths are spoken
confidences shared
people opening doors to parts of themselves
hidden from me in the past years
criticism bought to light
questions asked
observations made
tightropes of self being walked
tell all to the departing man
the wanderer
the gypsy
he is safe to tell
he is safe to complain to
he safe to confide in
he is safe to ask
i am not sure i want to be safe
i always thought i'd like to be
a little more dangerous
bit edgy
n unpredictable
difficult
scarily real n powerful
potent
n sometimes i am
n sometimes i'm not
great qualities in movies n books
but the world
doesn't reward 'em
safety
security
stability
sterility
thats the way to blend
to get ahead
don't get noticed
stay down
work work work
keep the peace
even when it kills ya
even when its all wrong
even when ya body cries out from each cell
this is wrong!
what ever you do
stay put
no leaving
no moving

too bad
i'm off
see ya on
the other side